Daily Devotional
Toxic Charity
Text: Luke 6:38
“Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”
Message
Bible encourages giving, a mark and show of love.
Giving is of God. It is obedience to the injunction that we love God, others as ourselves. But good as giving is, you must be careful to avoid toxic Charity (giving).
Toxic behavior refers to a person whose behavior and ongoing actions cause harm to other people by physical or mental means. These are the people who spread negative or toxic stress or traumas on others behavior. Thus a toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity and upset to your life.
Many times, people who are toxic are dealing with their own stresses and traumas. To do this, they act in ways that don’t present them in the best light and usually upset others along the way.
A toxic charity refers to the adherence to people pleasing behavior in order to receive conditional value in relationships. It is a concept that restricts the giver to being cooperative, passive, submissive, gentle, and deriving their value from others pleasing and wellbeing.
Toxic Charity arises from what psychologist calls dependency syndrome, which is in popular language referred to as entitlement mentality. Sure you know or have experienced it!
You must have experienced or seen people behaving as if you owe them. They say nasty thing about you or behaving funny because they always asked and you always gave but the last, it was not in your power or you are not willing to do their bids.
Is it not heart breaking and pathetic that you did all but are remembered only for the single you did not do?
But it’s okay you are resented. Life goes on and on and does not end on their feeling or on your response to their insult. In any case why bother yourself when the universe knows that you have tried your best?
Why will you let others resentment stop you from doing good to others when that’s where your blessing is?
A lad refused to be pacified as his mother had traveled out of town. Pleas he eats, he turned down the first day. Haven spoken to the mother the day next the lad told his caregiver, “I can’t kill myself and I will not allow someone kill me”. What a deep thought!
But many of us sadly want to kill ourselves and allow others kill us in attempt to satisfy others entitlement mentality.
Entitlement mentality is manifested in people who are full of themselves, always seeking validations for their behaviors from others and throw tantrums when giving no as an answer. Such people are small minded and desires what they are not entitled or qualify to have.
Truth is you will never know why many are in your company until you deny or refuse them access to what you’ve always given them on the asking!
Another truth is, people always want you to say yes to their asking and don’t like a no for answer and anytime you say no they feel disconnected and are discontent. They take offense, lash out on you and loose their tempers. Those not giving to loose their temper suffers in silence, badly react to you and seek opportunity to take a pound of flesh from you at the next engagement.
You see that thing called entitlement. It happens a lot and at the end what do you want to do about it? Follow the path of wisdom. Let not your heart condemn you. If you have done your best, leave the rest to God. He and only he will sort out the rest as the problem God cannot solve does not exist. Such problem is yet and will not be born.
Toxic Charity aligns with the not giving attitude of the stingy but for me that is no solution. Life is grace not grade. I give when I have and don’t have. When I say no I owe no one an excuse or need their understand. Understand if you can and if not that’s your problem.
When I have given you, get vexed if you want. Say that it is not enough or that am stingy. That’s your worry and headache! All I know is you can’t stop me the next time. Luke 6:38, says, “Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.”
I know and confess it that it is not easy to be a giver. That’s one reason I give thank and offer prayer for my benefactor again and again and nothing to me is little.
If you have to give and you have, do. The God who is good all the time, all the time the Lord is good, will reward you.
God will not forget your labor of love.
*Food for Thought*
There are different kinds of people in the world, and everyone we meet is for a reason and a season.
Learning when to hold on and to let go is key.
Don’t turn others into a channel of toxic charity.
Don’t be angry when People can’t be there for you.These days,people are struggling to be there for themselves.Its not easy everywhere.
Please understand. What you sow, you definitely reap.
Shalom.